The Green Bugatti

“I ran him ova, so what!! I loved him once, I did! But he cheated on me, so I ran him ova with my Stephen’s shiny  green Bugatti. I wasn’t about to wait for karma to deal with him…takes too long. Baaaahh! to hell with that, I dealt with him myself. If he died, then he died” I shrugged my shoulders and sat back in my chair folding my arms before me across my heavy chest. 

There. I’d said it. That was my confession, no reason to lie nor am I ashamed for what I did. That stuffy courtroom and everybody in it that were out to get me, they ooh’d and aah’d in shock. I reckon they weren’t expecting that. My court appointed lawyer is mad at me now. He said he was gonna get me off the hook for Hugo’s death, but I needed to trust him and let him do the talking. But I was already bored with everything and being there. People talk too much, not enough action.

There’s a lot of people talking to each other. All of it is noise to me. The judge is pounding his gavel trying to get everyone to shut up, but it’s not working. The irritation on his face shows he’s done. Pfft, so am I. A long time ago I was done, like when this stuff all started. The judge says something about taking a break and orders for his security guards to take me back to my holding cell. I am happy to get out of there, too. My head is pounding so bad, I wanna grab that gun from the cop’s holster and blow my own brains out to make it stop hurting. But I don’t, it’s just a quick thought. 

While they walk me out thru the hallway, I just look down at the tile. I see Hugo’s eyes and easy smile before me. Damnit ! Don’t start thinking about him again. How many times are you gonna torture yourself with that memory in your stupid head? I ask myself. Be done. Besides, what’s done is done, right? But my stupid heart won’t let it go and I am sent back into time, remembering the good stuff before it all went to shit.

I married Hugo right away it seemed. We knew what we wanted, we didn’t need endless examples to explain away our feelings. I shoulda took my time though, that’s always been my downfall. Too flighty, too impulsive. Hmmph, so was he. We were red hot lovers in the fast lane to destruction. But we didn’t care. We said we’d ride it out to the end, everything else be damned.

My family hated him. They say he only wanted to get his hands on the money my late dear husband, Stephen left for me. More money than I could count or know what to do with.  

Aahh my Stephen, my memory goes to him now. He did love me, now that I remember. He looked out for me. My Stephen was a lot older than me but he was smart. My daddy set me up with Stephen. He was a self made millionaire and real good friends with Daddy. Into computers he was, his business. We had big house, big money, fancy cars, everything your heart could imagine, we had it. But my poor honey died on me all of a sudden, heart attack. I cried for a few minutes  to myself knowing he’d only make fun of me for doing so. ”Dry those tears” he’d tell me “Go! live your life and have fun”.

And so I did. My memory continues playing back over all those fucked up times that followed after his death.

 I had many affairs with many men. Only half I took serious. They hurt me, I kill them. Simple as that. I never got caught, but everybody felt bad for me. Fools! The lot of them.

Jimmy was the first, he hit me all the time. I didn’t feel bad about hitting him back once I had enough. I hit him till there was nothing left of his head.

Carlo loved his drugs more than me and tried to make daily withdrawals from my money like I was his bank. All he needed me for was to help feed his habit. But I taught him a naughty lesson. I poisoned his drugs and gift it to him. I bought his favorite white powder stuff he’d sniffed up his nose from his dealer, and put in an extra little something. I gift it to him happily like its his birthday, and he took it, forgetting to say thank you to me. I watch him die slowly, painfully. Served him right. This was my money not his. Stephen gave it to me, not him.

There were still others, but much like their faces, their names faded away, I forgot them already. Six of them, maybe seven. Oh well.

 I hosted many parties with many men and only a few women over the years. I didn’t like anyone stealing attention away from me, so I made sure the ladies weren’t as pretty as me. You bet they filled my house, enjoying all I had to offer, but no one remembered me the next day or the day after. Made me mad so I make them remember me. Na-aah, not saying what I did. I’m no fool to slit my own throat, ha ha.. no. no. no !!

One time I was lonely, I think about my Stephen but he wasn’t here. So I go to bar and find me a man to talk to. He said he wanted to fuck me. I was surprised but happy. He flirt with me a lot. Ask me if I ever had two men at the same time in my bed. I said no, which was true and he said he want to try with me. He said I was pretty and I made him horny. So I said ok. He brought his friend to our table. They talk funny in front of me, I don’t know what they say. Like code talk, a secret they share but won’t let me in on.

So I go home with them behind me. They laughing all the time. I don’t like it, they tricky handsome bastards. I leave them downstairs while I go up to my room to make sure its picked up. I hear Stephen talking to me thru his picture by my side of the bed. He tells me “No carina mia, don’t do it. They’re only going to hurt you like all the others”.

I say “Too late, my love. They are here in our house downstairs drinking your scotch. I can’t go back on my word that we can fuck. But I’ll take care of me” I promise him and I lay down his picture back down after I kiss him.

Such a lovely man. My heart misses him. He is my guardian angel now.

I look around the room after I ready for my first menage a trois as they call it. I am excited. I invite the men up. They look around in awe how pretty and big my room is with the fireplace heating up an otherwise chilly place.

They lead me to bed and both undress me and kiss me and touch me all over and they excite me with their words. They tell me what they are they gonna do to me. I do not know how I feel about it, but I am putty in their hands.

Their hands go everywhere on my body. I am dizzy. I don’t know who is doing what to me. One of them holds a small glass of scotch to my lips and helps me drink. Then he pours the rest down the front of my body. It is warm. It runs down my body and drips to my bed sheets. Ugh, my housekeeper is gonna have a hard time getting the smell out. And if it stains? I gotta remember not to get mad at her. Then, both men begin to lick the drink off me or what’s left.

I’m loving the attention but I cannot think no more. My head is cloudy. They see this and they laugh at me. One of them says “Good, it’s working” then start to kiss each other instead. They keep on at each other instead of me till they push me off my own bed and laugh even more. Then they start to fuck. I am shocked. Should Stephen see this, he would be very mad with me.

I move to get his picture to put away, but the one getting fucked reaches out to take his picture from me and sees my Stephen. He props the picture up and says “Let him see what he is missing” and they both laugh. They laugh at my anger and tears. Then they ignore me and continue to enjoy themselves.

My heart hurts, my Stephen was right, as he always is. I take his picture and place it gently in night stand drawer and pull out my knife I hide. They are about to lose their minds from their own joy they make, they don’t see me no more so I slit the throat of the first guy. His eyes widen in surprise as his hands go to his throat to try and stop the blood from gushing. His body slumps over his lovers back then falls over to the carpeted floor.

Damn, my carpet now?

Then I jump on bed on the other guy’s back and pull his hair back and run my bloody knife thru his ear. He dies quickly, quietly. I like that.

I need to clean up the mess before it gets to be too much, but I clean myself up first real quick, then call down to the servants quarters and ask Bruno and Max to come to my room and get these guys out of here and bring Geneva to clean the mess for me.

They do as I say, all the time they listen to me or they know what’s good for them. Ha ha no. I will not hurt them. They look out for me cause Stephen told them to. Bruno and Max get rid of spicy lovers, and I am left alone again. Made a fool of. I cry into the wee hours of sunrise with my Stephens picture in my arms. Why did you leave me, my love? Life is not good to me.

I made promise that night to my love, Stephen, I will behave better and wait for love to find me instead of look for it. Only bad things happen when I do, anyways.

It would be a lonely 4 years before another man would look my way. I think he likes me, finally. For me not my Stephen’s money. And after a year goes by with knowing no one but him, I take him to my family. But to them, especially mama, Hugo looks shady. He smiles a lot and treats me well in front of Mama and Pappa. But they are no fools. They been around long time. They tell me no, they tell him no when he asks to marry me.

I cry now. Why didn’t I listen? I went ahead anyways and married in Vegas. Had a Elvis look alike walk me down the aisle in the small chapel me and Hugo found to get married in. Hugo and me, we kiss when they tell us to and Elvis he kissed me too. Hugo laughs and takes picture of Elvis dipping me as he goes in for his smooch. I hold on tight to Elvis. I don’t wanna fall, not for him only for my Hugo.

Hugo and I have nice life together for awhile. He says for me to keep my Stephen’s money, he don’t need it. I see why. He knows how to make his own money. Its dirty, its wrong but he makes it, a lot of it and uses it everywhere and never gets caught. My Hugo starts to change. I am sad by this. He likes a lot of people looking at him, especially the women. And they are prettier than me. He tells me this is so. He flirts with them in front of me when we go to parties and sometimes he disappears with one or two of them, leaving me by myself to become one with the faded wallpaper. No one sees me without him.

One night I cry to him and beg him to see me. I am here waiting for him, but he does not listen to me. I am but a ghost to him, now. He brings home one lady all the time. I think he wants to marry her instead. I catch them in bed together, having the same fun those two men had in my bed without me a few years before. He yells at me with angry eyes “Get out !!”.

Aaah Hugo, why you make me cry for you? I wander off and go to his office. I snoop thru his papers and find that lady he has in our bed is not the only one. He has many lovers and has had them for quite some time. My crying turns to anger. Really mad at him now. Life is not fair to me. Never has been but he wont get away with this. I will tell the police what he does to get money. I have his proof. My revenge will take time. That’s okay, its all I got now since I’m still all alone. For now, I will let him have his fun. It will be the last time I cry for him or anybody that hurts me.

I go to cops as promised. I show them Hugo’s dirty money and where he hides everything. They bust him and haul him to jail. But he’s still smarter than me. They let him go at the courthouse and he brushes past me and shoves me to the side. He hisses at me “This aint over, little bitch!” then turns to smile at his fancy big money lawyer that got him off. He says “Let’s go celebrate”. To everyone he has smiles and good time laughter but none for me, just mean eyes.

 I follow him and watch and wait for him in my Stephen’s fancy green Bugatti, I think I remember him call his car that name, once. Hugo never saw it before cause I never touched it before. I had Max lock up the garage my Stephen had all his nice cars in, so nobody could touch them.

Hugo walks out of the fancy restaurant with two ladies in his arms. Neither are the one he brought home. Lucky for her, cause she was gonna get it next, but worse. I start the ignition and rev it up. I hope I don’t mess up Stephen’s car. But I see him rev up the car like this a few times before. Maybe for once it will work for me.

I see my Hugo step into the street and begin to walk with his ladies. Holding them both like they delicate flowers. This makes me madder than hell. I push my foot down on gas hard and steer the car in his direction. He hollers and pushes the ladies out of the way and takes the hit from my Stephen’s car. His body goes up in the air, crashes down on hood and he tries to hold on for the ride by holding onto windshield wipers. Nope, not today bastard. You hurt me, I hurt you.

 I push the button for wiper fluid to spray up. Some of it gets in his eyes and blinds him. Then I watch the blades go to work on messing up his lily white hands that do nothing wrong. Well, he can’t hold on long. I’m driving in big circles in the lot, swerving the car around to make my Hugo fall. When he does finally, I laugh hysterically, I can’t stop laughing I almost pee myself.

I’m surprised he held on that long but I stop the car and back up over him with the tires before he has a chance to get up. Then I run over him again and then I’m driving in circles running over him and I have fun hearing the thump thump as the tires go over his dead body like a speed bump. But I’m not speeding anymore.

The cops show up and they stop me. They take my Stephen’s Bugatti away, they put me in the back seat of one of their many patrol cars that showed up to see what’s the matter. Some of the cops are talking to his girlfriends. They are crying and talking and pointing at me. Nothing they say seem to make sense but if the cops find anything to believe from them, I hope they tell the truth or they next, some way or another.

****************

So back to where I was…

It’s my turn soon enough to be before the judge. I have no fancy expensive lawyer to help me lie my way out of trouble like my Hugo did. I get some lousy lawyer handling my case for free. That’s good I guess, cause I can’t pay him. The judge made sure I can’t touch Stephen’s money anymore ‘pending the outcome of the trial’ were his fancy words the judge said to me.

Sigh…everybody wants my Stephen’s money. I don’t. Not anymore. It just gets me in more trouble than its worth.

So I sit in the witness stand and I tell my story about how these men took advantage of me, but I leave out the part I killed them or that Bruno, Max and Geneva helped me cause I don’t wanna ever get them in trouble too.

They talk a lot. The lawyers do. They use a lot of fancy fast words, I don’t know what they say but the judge has a headache now from all their yapping. His head is probably about to explode like mine if they don’t shut up soon. I wonder if he’s gonna use the bailiff’s gun on himself like I wanted to.

The bailiff comes for me to take me back to my holding cell. I don’t fight him, I’m too tired already. I hear in all the commotion, its gonna be another few weeks maybe before I find out what’s gonna happen to me for killing Hugo.

I’ll wait, it’s ok. Nobody can hurt me anymore, now. Not in here, I don’t think, except maybe the guards who didn’t like me since I came in. They put the handcuffs on me a little tighter than last time.

Oh Stephen, how I miss you.